The Fear of Elul
by Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz
Fear is
a uniquely Jewish attribute.
The posuk
praises people who constantly fear: “Ashrei odom mefacheid tomid” (Mishlei
28:24). The yorei Shomayim, the choreid ledvar Hashem, is
never entirely relaxed. He is always fearful, ensuring that he lives the proper
life.
The
legendary Brisker gaon, Rav Yehoshua Leib Diskin, was an awe-inspiring
figure. It was well-known in Yerushalayim Shel Ma’alah that when he davened
on leil Shabbos and reached the words “lefonov na’avod beyirah
vofachad,” a vein in his forehead would begin throbbing. His face would
turn the color of fire and he would tremble. The people of the Holy City would
avert their eyes, unable to look at the holy countenance aflame.
Yet,
this same very angelic figure would be overcome by awe when he approached the Kosel,
barely able to articulate his tefillos because of his reverence for the
sacred site. In fact, a window of his humble home faced the Kosel and
the Har Habayis. He was so sensitive to the kedushah and churban
evidenced by the view that he always kept that window covered, lest he catch a
glimpse of the holy site and be overcome.
It is said
that Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk, author of the Ohr Somayach and Meshech
Chochmah, once encountered Reb Yehoshua Leib. He was so overcome with
fright that he was unable to utter the words “Shalom Aleichem.”
As
fearful as the great Rav Meir Simcha was of Rav Yehoshua Leib, Rav Boruch Ber
Leibowitz of Kamenitz once met Rav Meir Simcha and couldn’t bring himself to
greet the gaon of Dvinsk. He explained his reluctance: “My rebbi,
Rav Chaim Soloveitchik, referred to the Ohr Somayach as a ‘sar
haTorah’ and I should greet him as a friend?”
A holy
chain of fear.
The
reverence was transmitted through the generations, from gadol to gadol
and from talmid to talmid. In our generation, when yirah
has become a forgotten word and respect is all but lost, it is hard to conceive
that not many years ago there existed such a tangible fear born out of respect.
Rashi, at the
beginning of this week’s parsha, offers a puzzling explanation for the
juxtaposition of parshiyos (Devorim 29: 9). He quotes the Medrash
which states that after Klal Yisroel heard the 98 klalos as
described in Parshas Ki Savo, they were so distressed and frightened
that their faces turned green. They were despondent, as they felt ill-equipped
to handle all the Torah’s commandments and were mortified at the ramifications
of non-observance.
Moshe
reassured them, saying, “Atem nitzovim hayom. Although you’ve angered
Hashem numerous times over the years - with the meraglim, the Eigel,
and other sins - you are still standing here and haven’t been destroyed.”
At first
glance, the answer seems self-defeating. Imagine a parent warning his children
that if they misbehave, they will suffer serious consequences. When the
children react with fright, the parent reassures them that the threat isn’t
really that serious after all and brings a proof to that effect.
The
Lucerne rosh yeshiva, Rav Yitzchok Dov Kopelman, explained that Divine
punishment is not meant as a consequence or retribution for a sinful act. It is
merely a tool used by a loving Father to guide His wayward children onto the
correct path. What is important is that they behave properly, not the
imposition of the penalty.
Once
Moshe saw that “peneihem morikos,” their faces had changed
colors, he understood that the klalos had achieved their desired effect
and the people would behave properly.
This is
Jewish fear - not a fear that leads to despair or brokenness, but a fear that
leads to Vegilu biradah, rejoicing in trembling. Tzaddikim such
as Rav Yehoshua Leib, Rav Meir Simcha and Rav Boruch Ber were inspired,
optimistic people. Their fear did not hold them back. It motivated them.
When
people talk about the mood and attitude in the great Torah centers of pre-war
Lithuania during the days of Elul, what they are describing is yiras
Shomayim, not depression. When we hear about the women who fainted when the
chazzan recited Rosh Chodesh bentching for Elul or the
imagery of fish in the sea trembling, we should understand that it was not due
to panic or dread, but rather reverence and awe generated by being in the
Presence of Hashem.
The holy
fusion of fear and joy found amongst tzaddikim is an expression of their
deep vision, their ability to perceive that the fear itself, the peneihem
morikos, is the reaction hoped for by Heaven. Shomayim doesn’t
punish. It reminds. Ehrliche Yidden are attuned to these reminders.
Rav
Isser Zalman Meltzer and his wife, Rebbetzin Baila Hinda, were joyous people,
yet they lived with this awareness, an ever-present sense that the Creator was
with them. One day, as the rebbetzin prepared a glass of tea for her
husband, the cup suddenly shattered in her hand. Within moments, she sat down
with her husband to consider why it had happened and what the message was.
“Did you
perhaps display a ‘closed hand,’ not giving tzedakah when requested?”
the rosh yeshiva wondered.
The rebbetzin
recalled that when she was doing her shopping earlier that day in the Machane
Yehudah shuk, a collector approached her for money. The rebbetzin, who
only had a large bill with her, asked the poor man to wait a moment while she
got change from one of the kiosks. She changed the bill into smaller
denominations, but when she returned back to the beggar, he was gone.
“Yes,”
concluded the rosh yeshiva, “that must be why you endured this
accident.”
For tzaddikim,
reminders suffice. Dai lechakima beremiza, say Chazal. The wise
man needs only a hint.
The best
way to appreciate this season is to approach it as chachomim, with our
eyes open and hearts awake to the messages being sent our way. It is easy to
ignore them, to be apathetic or stubbornly refusing to consider that those
messages are directed at us. But then the messages become more insistent. Peneihem
morikos, Rashi teaches us. The fright itself should be enough to evoke
Divine rachamim.
Think
about it. If used correctly, fear can be the healthiest of emotions, a tool to
craft a blessed new year for us and our families.
At one
of his Thursday night shiurim, when all sorts of questions were welcomed
from the audience, Rav Avigdor Miller explained the nature of bitachon.
“Bitachon
means Hashem will take care of you if you trust in Him, but that trust requires
you to do what He wants you to do, and He wants you to be ‘mefashfeish
bema’asov,’ to search into your ways. Self-scrutiny is a mitzvah
like tefillin is a mitzvah.
“If a
man has a toothache,” continued Rav Miller, “and he goes to the dentist, and
the dentist says, ‘Open wide,’ he should think, ‘Why do I have to open my mouth
wide? Because I shouldn’t have opened my mouth so wide at other times. I opened
my mouth against my wife; that’s why I have to open it for the dentist now. I
opened my mouth against my fellow Jew, so now I have to deal with this.’”
Living
with this awareness, Rav Miller was teaching, is itself an expression of faith.
Seeing Hashem’s message in all occurrences is empowering, because it
underscores how relevant our every action is and how important it is to Him to
prod us on to the right path.
Perhaps
this answers the paradox regarding the nature of Rosh Hashanah. The day
contains the obligation of experiencing the joy of a yom tov, yet, at
the same time, the fear of judgment is just as essential. We can understand it
by comparing it to the fear experienced by someone who has sat in conversation
with a gadol. Sure, you are overcome by awe, it is difficult to speak,
and you choose your words carefully, but despite that, at the same time, you
have never felt more alive and relevant than when you are in his presence.
I
remember way back when I sat with Maran Rav Elazar Menachem Man Shach zt”l
for the first time after this newspaper was founded. I was very young and
clean-shaven. Rav Shach overwhelmed me with Torah, love and guidance, and it
was difficult for me to speak. The nicer he was to me, the more self-conscious
I was about the fact that I didn’t have a beard.
I was
charged and enthused about my mission, but I resolved then and there that it
would be the last time I appeared before him without a beard. As I was leaving,
one of the gate-keepers commented on how nice the rosh yeshiva was to
me. I responded by telling him about how unworthy I felt, a young Amerikaner
without a beard. He assured me that Rav Shach didn’t judge a person by his chitzoniyus
and that I shouldn’t have felt insecure.
When one
is in the presence of greatness, especially when the great person reacts in a
kind and loving fashion, one is at the same time joyful and fearful, as the posuk
states, “vegilu biradah.”
Rav
Chaim Brim would recall the fear that overcame him when he was in the presence
of the Brisker Rov. He retold his experience when the Rov spoke at the
celebration of a sheva brachos for his son, Rav Meir Soloveitchik.
He
recounted that the Rov said that the words we recite affirming our belief in
the imminent arrival of Moshiach, “achakeh lo bechol yom sheyavo,”
do not mean that a person waits for Moshiach each day once a day.
Rather, it means “kol hayom,” throughout the entire day. We await the
arrival of Moshiach all day.
“When
the Rov said this vort,” testified Rav Chaim, “we all lowered our heads
in shame in the face of his obvious, tangible emunah and our own low
levels. It was humiliating.”
Yet Rav
Chaim and his contemporaries seized every moment to spend time in the presence
of the Rov, welcoming the humiliation and shame, embracing the simcha of
true bushah.
During
these days, it is our certainty of Hashem’s proximity and our assurance
that He is listening closely that is the cause of both our simcha at the
opportunity it affords and the fear of the magnitude of His power and might.
“Dirshu
Hashem behimatzo - Seek out Hashem when He is accessible,”
says the posuk. This is the most empowering time of the year, the
exalted moments when we are being ushered into His Presence. Yes, He will
scrutinize our actions and seek to help us improve, but by being vigilant and
attuned to His will, we ask that He give us the opportunity to improve without
being rebuked or disciplined.
“Hashem
ori,” we say twice each day between Rosh Chodesh Elul and Shemini
Atzeres. He illuminates the path before us, helping us identify mistakes we
have made and a path to repair them. This way, we can experience teshuvah without
the reprimand and closeness without the push, and thus “veyishi,” Hashem
is my salvation, so “mimi ira,” from who shall I fear?
If we
truly fear Him, then we need not fear others. If we fear Him, then we perceive
that, indeed, there is nothing to fear at all.
The Gemara
in Maseches Chagigah (5b) relates that Rav Papa said, “Ein atzivus
lifnei Hakadosh Boruch Hu - There is no grief in Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s
presence.” Now that we are in the period when we are closest to Hashem, there
should be no grief, even as we approach the Day of Judgment, when all of
mankind will undergo Heavenly scrutiny.
There is
a new Israeli song that has gone viral. The words, which are from Likkutei
Maharan, provide succor for us during these days of Elul, the Yomim
Noraim, and throughout the year:
Hashem
says, “Anochi hastir astir Ponai bayom hahu,” but the rebbe says, “V’afilu
behastorah shebesoch hastorah bevadai gam shom nimtza Hashem Yisborach. Gam
mei’achorei hadevorim hakoshim ha’omdim alecha ani omeid.
Hashem
says, “If you disobey My commandments, I will hide Myself from the Jewish
people,” but the rebbe says that even when Hashem is hiding, know that He is
there and ever-present, and He stands behind the difficult things that happen
to you.
We are
all faced by so many difficult tribulations and wonder how we can withstand
them. Know that you are not alone. Hashem is there right alongside you, guiding
and assisting you as you seek to find your way in the darkness. He is there all
year, yet He is even closer during these days of Elul and the Aseres
Yemei Teshuvah.
Don’t
grow despondent. Don’t think the job is too difficult for you. Don’t think that
you can’t overcome the nisyonos that you are faced with. Don’t worry
that you won’t succeed in doing a proper teshuvah for your aveiros.
Don’t think that you won’t be able to bring yourself to the level that will
ensure that you emerge zakai in din.
Those
who fear Hashem feel Him. Those who fear Hashem merit His closeness. Those who
fear Hashem know that He is there with them, helping them approach Him.
May we all merit to be anoshim
chareidim, people who fear Hashem, and thus emerge meritorious on the Yom
Hadin.
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