Lessons Big & Small
By Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz
This week we
study Parshas Chayei Sarah, as we continue our trek through Sefer
Bereishis, learning about our forefathers and mothers so that we can follow
in their ways.
While the Torah
reports on the passing of Sarah Imeinu, the Medrash provides additional
context about what brought about her death. It explains that the Soton
told her about the akeidah, and she was so overwhelmed by the pain of
the thought that she died.
At first glance,
it seems obvious that if Avrohom had gone through with the initial plan and
Yitzchok had died, Sarah Imeinu would certainly have passed away upon hearing
such news.
However, Rav
Elya Ber Wachtfogel, in his recently published sefer on chumash, Even
Me’irah, says otherwise.
He recounts an
incident that occurred in Yerushalayim, when people were gathering to daven
in the minyan of Rav Yehoshua Leib Diskin. Someone entered the room and
reported that a fire had destroyed the shop of one of the people present. Upon
hearing that his source of livelihood had been destroyed, the shop owner,
overcome by pain and anguish, fainted.
Immediately, Rav
Yehoshua Leib declared with certainty that the report was incorrect and that
the store had not burned down.
After they
finished davening, some people went to investigate and found that the rov
was indeed correct. The fire had not affected the man’s store. It was
another shop that had been destroyed.
When they
returned to Rav Yehoshua Leib, they asked him how he had known that the man’s
store was still standing.
Rav Yehoshua
Leib explained that when Hashem gives a person yissurim, He also grants
him the strength to deal with the challenge. “When I saw the man faint upon
hearing the news,” said the great gaon, “I knew that his store had not
been consumed by the fire. If it had been his store, Hashem would have given
him the strength to cope with the loss.”
Rav Elya Ber
applies this principle to Sarah Imeinu. He explains that if Yitzchok had indeed
died at the Akeidah, Hashem would have given Sarah the strength to deal
with her loss. However, because there was no gezeirah to pain Sarah with
the death of Yitzchok, she lacked the strength to process the false report from
the Soton that Yitzchok had passed away.
We study the parshiyos
and uncover profound lessons in the stories they tell of our avos and imahos,
lessons that we can apply to our daily lives.
If, chas
v’shalom, unfortunate things happen in our lives and we are beset by pain
and loss, we must remember that we are provided with G-d-given strength to face
and overcome those challenges. Nothing ever happens to us that we cannot
endure.
As the parsha
continues, we learn how Avrohom Avinu sent his trusted aide, Eliezer, to his
homeland to find a wife for Yitzchok.
When Eliezer
arrived in the city of Nachor in Aram Naharayim, he davened for Hashem
to send him the girl destined for Yitzchok. He also devised a test to confirm
that he had found the right girl: If the girl he met would not only offer him
water to drink but would also offer to give water to his camels, Eliezer would
know that she was Yitzchok’s intended.
The posuk
(24:17) tells us that Eliezer saw Rivkah approaching, and he ran toward her to
perform his test. Rashi cites the Medrash that states that
Eliezer ran because he saw that, as she approached the watering well, the water
rose toward her. The Sifsei Chachomim explains that Eliezer had seen
this miraculous phenomenon happen to his master, Avrohom, so when he saw it
occurring to the girl, he understood that she was worthy of marrying into the
house of Avrohom.
Rav Elozor
Menachem Man Shach, whose yahrtzeit was this week, would ask why Eliezer
proceeded with his test after witnessing the water rise toward Rivkah. Why
wasn’t he satisfied with the miracles performed for her? Rav Shach explained
that the ultimate qualification for a suitable match in marriage is not whether
miracles are performed for someone, but whether they possess proper middos.
When young men
and women would ask Rav Shach what to look for in selecting a mate, he would
always emphasize that the most important quality is good middos.
Everything else is secondary.
Another valuable
lesson can be derived from the stories in the parsha.
When Eliezer
completed his mission and returned to Avrohom with Rivkah, Yitzchok brought her
to Sarah Imeinu’s tent and married her. At that point, the posuk tells
us, Yitzchok was finally consoled over the loss of his mother.
Rashi explains
that when Yitzchok brought Rivkah into his mother’s tent, he saw that she was a
worthy replacement for Sarah. As long as Sarah lived, three miracles occurred
in her tent: a candle remained lit from Erev Shabbos to Erev Shabbos,
the dough in her tent was blessed, and the spirit of Hashem hovered over the
tent. When Sarah passed away, these three miracles ceased, but when Rivkah came
to live there, they returned. Thus, Yitzchok found his nechomah.
Once again, we
find a lesson hidden here for us. The lights we kindle before Shabbos
are meant to foster shalom bayis, peace in the home. In a dark home,
peace cannot flourish. For this reason, the Shulchan Aruch (263:3) rules
that if a person can afford either wine for Kiddush or candles for neiros
Shabbos, they should purchase candles, as peace in a Jewish home is a
supreme need, and there can be no peace without light.
Rashi’s
reference to the ner, the light, which remained doluk (lit) from Erev
Shabbos to Erev Shabbos, signifies that a Shabbos-like peace
reigned in the home of Avrohom and Sarah throughout the week. In tribute to
this rarefied atmosphere, the onon, a Divine cloud, hovered over their
tent. As Hakadosh Boruch Hu states (Medrash, Parshas Pinchos),
“Lo motzosi kli machzik brocha ela hashalom”—the vessel for blessing is
peace. Where there is peace, there is brocha.
When Yitzchok
brought Rivkah to his mother’s home and saw that the ner of peace was
rekindled—and that it, in turn, generated the return of the onon—he was
reassured that life in his home would reflect the shalom, brocha,
and spiritual elevation of his parents’ home. Thus, he was consoled.
We learn from
this that we must always strive to ensure that peace reigns in our homes.
Perhaps we can
understand Yitzchok’s nechomah on a different level.
The Tur
(263) states that there is a dispute among Rishonim regarding when kedushas
Shabbos begins. The Behag is of the opinion that Shabbos
begins when a person lights candles for Shabbos any time after the zeman
tefillas Mincha.
The Gemara
in Brachos states, “Tefillos avos tiknum,” meaning that the avos
were the originators of the three tefillos we daven each day.
Avrohom established Shacharis, Yitzchok introduced the concept of Mincha,
and Yaakov was the originator of Maariv.
Avrohom was the
first to call out in Hashem’s name, introducing the idea of beginning the day
with tefillah.
Yaakov, as the
first av to descend into extended golus, instituted Maariv,
a tefillah recited in the dark. It signifies that even in times of
darkness, we maintain our faith and can embody holiness. It also represents our
ability to bring holiness into the darkness of exile.
Yitzchok
originated the tefillah of Mincha. By interrupting our daily
activities to daven Mincha, we demonstrate that it is possible to
sanctify the ordinary. This tefillah teaches us to elevate our level of kedusha
even while engaged in regular, everyday tasks.
With this in
mind, we can better appreciate Yitzchok’s consolation when he brought Rivkah to
the home where Sarah had lived.
When Sarah
Imeinu lit the Shabbos lights in her home on Erev Shabbos, she
sanctified the ordinary day. She brought the holiness of Shabbos into
her home, where it remained until the following Friday, when she once again lit
the neiros Shabbos.
The kedushas
Shabbos in her home began at Mincha time, when she kindled the
lights. Yitzchok learned this avodah from her. He observed her example
of bringing kedusha into a weekday. He saw how Friday afternoon was
transformed into Shabbos, and how holiness could be added to the day and
the home.
When Yitzchok
brought Rivkah into the tent, he saw how she lit the candles on Erev Shabbos,
just as his mother had, and he perceived how her act of kindling the lights
brought kedusha into the home. Just as it had been with his mother
Sarah, the holiness and light lasted the entire week. Yitzchok was reassured
that with Rivkah, he could build his home, for she understood the avodah
of Mincha—how to bring holiness to the mundane.
Perhaps this
explains the Chazal that all of Sarah’s days were “equally good.” Since
she harnessed the power of making the profane holy, all her days were imbued
with holiness, as symbolized by the ner of Erev Shabbos remaining
lit from Erev Shabbos to Erev Shabbos.
Sarah
experienced days when good things occurred and days when less favorable events
transpired, but no matter the circumstances, she worked to maintain her kedusha
and belief in Hashem’s goodness.
This may also
explain why Eliezer conducted his test to see if Rivkah would not only bring
him a drink, but would also water his animals. Eliezer sought someone who
understood that spiritual elevation can be achieved even through menial tasks,
such as providing water for camels and cattle.
A girl who is so
pure in her middos that she understands this concept—caring for the
animals as she cared for Eliezer—is a suitable life partner for Yitzchok, the
originator of tefillas Mincha.
As we seek to
find mates, to bring happiness into our homes, and to bring meaning to the
daily grind we endure, we should keep in mind the lesson that Yitzchok Avinu
taught when he instituted the tefillah of Mincha.
We should
remember our mothers, Sarah and Rivkah, and the kedusha they brought
into their homes every Friday, which lasted the entire week. We should remember
that light—both physical and spiritual—brings peace, and without peace, there
is no blessing.
Studying this parsha
should encourage us not to look down on ourselves as we perform the seemingly
mundane tasks that life demands. Cleaning, peeling potatoes, cooking, serving,
carpooling, shopping, and the many other menial tasks we perform for ourselves
and our families are also holy.
We mustn’t focus
only on the big, noticeable actions. Anyone can bring a drink to an important
person, but the test of a baal middos is whether we are also kind to the
“little people” who often go unnoticed.
Rivkah was
tested with menial tasks. Would she appreciate that these small tasks shape who
we are? The laundry, the dishwashing, the sweeping, and the serving are vital
in creating a peaceful, functional, and nurturing environment for the entire
family. Nothing we do is truly menial or inconsequential. Washing dishes,
folding towels, taking out the trash, and wiping down the counters are acts of
care that bring stability to the home.
It is the small,
seemingly mundane tasks that form the backbone of our lives and homes. Keeping
the lights on and doing whatever is necessary to maintain peace are holy tasks
that infuse our lives with kedusha and bring us abundant blessings.
The parshiyos
are full of these life lessons. We just have to want to find them.
May we all merit
to follow in the ways of our forefathers and mothers and be zoche to the
coming of Moshiach speedily in our day.