The Power of Perspective

This week, in Parshas Shelach, we learn about the saga of the meraglim, which is one of the most tragic episodes in the Torah. Standing at the border of Eretz Yisroel, the Jewish people, who had experienced Yetzias Mitzrayim, Krias Yam Suf, and the many nissim in the midbar, were poised to enter the land promised to their forefathers. The journey from Mitzrayim was nearly complete. Yet, instead of moving forward with confidence, the nation was overcome by fear, and an entire generation lost the opportunity to enter the Land.

They sent meraglim to scout out the land, and the meraglim returned with a frightening report. They reported facts as they saw them. Much of what they said was true. The cities were fortified. The inhabitants were powerful. The challenges were real. But their mission was a historic failure, for which we still pay the price until this very day. At the root of their failure was that they viewed everything during their mission through a lens of negativity.

Where they should have seen opportunity, they saw danger. Where they should have seen Hashem’s promise, they saw obstacles. Where they should have seen a land flowing with milk and honey, they saw imposing giants and fortified cities they believed they would not be able to capture.

Yehoshua and Koleiv saw the same landscape, the same cities, and the same giants as the other ten shluchim. Yet, they came to an entirely different conclusion. While the other meraglim focused on obstacles, Yehoshua and Koleiv focused on possibilities.

Where the meraglim saw reasons for despair, Yehoshua and Koleiv saw reasons for confidence. Most importantly, while the other meraglim measured the situation according to human limitations, Yehoshua and Koleiv viewed it through the prism of emunah, through the knowledge that Hashem had promised this land to them and told them that it was good. For centuries, the bnei Avrohom, Yitzchok and Yaakov had looked forward to meriting entry into the land.

The difference between them was not what they saw. The difference was how they saw it.

This lesson that we learn from this sorry experience extends far beyond the events of the desert. Life presents each of us with challenges, disappointments, and uncertainties. Every day, each of us is presented with a choice. We can choose to focus on what is wrong, on what we lack, and on the difficulties we face, or we can focus on what is right. We can look for the good, and recognize and appreciate blessings. We can see problems or we can see the opportunities that are hidden in every situation.

The negative approach is often easier. Complaints come naturally. Criticism requires little effort. Finding fault in people and circumstances can become a habit. But the Torah teaches us through the story of the meraglim that such a mindset can distort reality itself. When a person constantly searches for what is wrong, that is all he sees.

This applies not only to how we view events, but also to how we view other people. Every person has shortcomings. Every person makes mistakes. If we search for faults, we will certainly find them. And if we search for virtues, strengths, and the goodness that exists within every Jew, we will find that as well.

Everything that occurs is guided by Hashem. Even when we do not understand His plan, we know that He is directing the world with wisdom and kindness. The meraglim saw challenges and assumed disaster. Yehoshua and Koleiv saw those same challenges and trusted that Hashem’s purpose was ultimately for their benefit.

Positivity does not mean pretending that difficulties do not exist. The Torah does not ask us to ignore reality. Rather, positivity means refusing to allow difficulties to define reality. It means recognizing challenges while also recognizing Hashem’s ability to help us overcome them. It means viewing challenges as nisyonos, placed there to test us and provide impetus for self-improvement and aliyah.

A positive person lives a fundamentally different life than a negative one.

Negative people tend to become trapped by their circumstances. Every setback becomes a disaster. Every disappointment becomes a reason for discouragement. Every challenge appears larger than it really is. Their focus on problems drains their energy and clouds their judgment.

Positive people are not immune to difficulties, but they approach them differently. Because of their emunah and bitachon, they know that solutions are always possible and they search for them. Because they ask for and anticipate Hashem’s help, they maintain hope despite the situation. Their outlook gives them the strength to persevere where others give up.

This is true in our relationships as well.

When we focus on the faults of others, resentment grows. Every interaction becomes an opportunity for criticism. Small imperfections become magnified until they overshadow all the good that exists.

But when we make an effort to notice the strengths of others, our relationships flourish. A spouse feels appreciated. A child gains confidence. Friends feel valued. Communities become stronger. Looking for the good in people often brings out the good in them.

Many of the greatest leaders possessed this ability. They saw potential where others saw weakness. They recognized greatness hidden beneath flaws. They understood that encouragement accomplishes far more than constant criticism.

Positivity also transforms the way we experience life itself.

Every person receives countless gifts from Hashem each day—health, family, friendships, opportunities, and innumerable acts of Divine kindness. We can either focus on the good we have or on what is missing, what we would like to have but do not. By focusing on what is not good, we become downcast and sad, and we lose sight of the good that we have.

A positive perspective creates gratitude. Gratitude creates happiness. And happiness creates the emotional strength needed to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.

The Chovos Halevavos teaches that recognizing Hashem’s kindness is one of the foundations of avodas Hashem. A person who constantly notices blessings naturally develops a deeper appreciation for Hakadosh Boruch Hu, Who provides for them. Positivity is not merely a personality trait. It is a powerful form and indication of spiritual growth. The more Torah and mussar a person learns, the more spiritual he becomes, the closer he feels to Hashem, and the more he appreciates His goodness and kindness.

The consequences of the meraglim were so severe because their negativity did not remain confined to their own hearts. It spread throughout the camp. Fear became contagious. Discouragement became contagious. Despair became contagious. The people listened to them and became saddened, bemoaning their fate as they fretted about the future. Chazal (Taanis 29a) recount that Hashem chastened them for crying senseless tears and declared that He would give them something to cry about for generations to come. Indeed, we are still crying over the churban until this day. We are still suffering because of the sin of the meraglim.

My old friend, Rav Mordechai Simcha zt”l, was always a fountain of bright and witty comments. As a play on his name, he would often say, “Simcha is contagious.” Indeed, it is. Optimism is also contagious, as are confidence and bitachon. One person’s positive outlook can inspire an entire family, a community, or even a generation.

Take Reb Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin, for example. His faith inspired Klal Yisroel and still does. He had every reason to give up and accept his fate, and very few rational reasons to think that he would ever achieve vindication and freedom. Yet, because of his deep-seated emunah, he was able to view his situation differently. He viewed what he was going through as a nisayon, not as a fait accompli, and Hashem rewarded him. Klal Yisroel rejoiced with him when his faith was rewarded. His experience still serves as a chizuk to people experiencing periods of nisayon not to become traumatized and to maintain their faith that Hakadosh Boruch Hu is directing everything min haShomayim.

In every situation, we have a choice. We can be like the meraglim, searching for reasons why things cannot succeed. Or we can be like Yehoshua, Koleiv, and ehrliche Yidden throughout the ages, searching for reasons to trust, to hope, and to move forward.

The Torah’s message is not that life is easy. It is that life looks very different when viewed through the eyes of a maamin.

When we train ourselves to see the good in people, we become kinder. When we train ourselves to see the good in circumstances, we become stronger. When we train ourselves to see the good in our lives, we become happier. And when we train ourselves to see Hashem’s hand behind everything that happens, we discover a deeper sense of peace and purpose.

The meraglim saw giants and lost heart. Yehoshua and Koleiv saw Hashem and found courage.

Their lesson continues to guide us today: Look for the good. Focus on the blessings. Believe in the possibilities. Trust in Hashem. Very often, what we find depends on what we are looking for.

Gedolim often possessed an extraordinary ability to see the good in situations and in people where others saw only problems. Famous are the stories about Rav Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev. He was renowned for always finding merit in people.

Typical is the story told about the baal ha’agolah who was greasing the wheels of his wagon while wearing his tallis and tefillin. Most people would have been shocked by the apparent lack of respect. Rav Levi Yitzchok, however, looked heavenward and said, “Ribbono Shel Olam, see how precious Your children are. Even while occupied with their work, they refuse to separate themselves from mitzvos.”

Others saw a fault. He saw a virtue.

That was not naïveté. He was choosing to focus on what was admirable rather than what was lacking.

There are plenty of practical examples.

Two people lose a business opportunity. One spends months dwelling on what might have been. He becomes bitter and discouraged. The other is disappointed as well, but he believes that if Hashem closed one door, another will open. He moves forward and eventually discovers opportunities that he would never have found otherwise.

The external event is identical. The internal response changes everything.

The same is true in family life. A parent can focus on a child’s weaknesses and spend years being frustrated. Or he can focus on the child’s strengths and help the child blossom. Every experienced educator knows that children often become what others believe they can become. Positivity does not merely change how we see people. It changes how they see themselves.

We are currently in the season of Siddur and Chumash parties. I merited attending Chumash parties for two of my grandchildren recently, one last Sunday and one this Sunday. The pride the rabbeim took in their young charges was evident as they exuded positivity and joy, and the children, in turn, shone as they sang their songs, reviewed pesukim, and rose in their crowns to accept their Chumashim.

The confidence of the rebbi is reflected in the children, just as the light of the sun is reflected by the moon, brightening and casting light upon a dark night. Positivity and optimism are what enable us to succeed and thrive in a world that contains much darkness and sorrow.

Positivity is not simply about feeling happier. It is about seeing the world more accurately. The negative person sees only the obstacle and misses the opportunity. He sees the flaw and misses the virtue. He sees only today’s difficulty and misses tomorrow’s blessing. The positive person sees the challenge as well, but he also sees Hashem’s hand guiding events toward a purpose he may not yet understand.

We live in a time of hester, when Hashem is hidden, and we do not always see the brocha, but we must know that it is there and that we are not alone.

The meraglim were not ordinary people. Chazal teach that they were distinguished leaders, “roshei Bnei Yisroel.” Their failure reminds us that intelligence and greatness alone do not guarantee proper perspective. A person can be knowledgeable, accomplished, and sincere, yet still allow fear, bias, and negativity to distort his view of reality.

Yehoshua and Koleiv possessed something invaluable: the ability to see beyond the immediate nisayon and focus on the larger picture. They understood that the question was not whether there were giants in the land, but whether Hashem had promised them the land. With that attitude and perspective, everything else fell into place.

That remains one of the great challenges of life. We often become consumed by the “giants” in front of us—the problems, setbacks, worries, and uncertainties. We can spend so much time analyzing the obstacles that we lose sight of the blessings, opportunities, and Hashgocha Protis surrounding us.

A positive outlook rooted in emunah does not deny the existence of giants. It simply remembers that Hashem is bigger than the giants.

I have written previously about the time I was visiting my rebbi, Rav Avrohom Yehoshua Soloveitchik, and he inquired about the welfare of one of his talmidim. I told him, “Es geit em shver. He has it hard.” He quickly responded, “Bei di Ribono Shel Olam, iz gornit shver. Nothing is hard for Hashem.”

That has to be the way we view and deal with times of nisayon, when things are rough.

The meraglim foresaw tough battles ahead that could not be won. Thus, they saw a land that could not be conquered. Yehoshua and Koleiv did not let what they saw impress or frighten them, because they knew that bei di Ribono Shel Olam, iz gornit shver.

Yehoshua and Koleiv saw a future that could be achieved. Their vision built the future of Klal Yisroel. The people who leave the deepest impact on their families, communities, and friends are often those who have learned this lesson well. They are the ones who encourage rather than criticize, who look for strengths rather than weaknesses, who search for solutions rather than dwell on problems, and who remind others that no situation is beyond Hashem’s help.

In a world where negativity often comes easily, choosing to see the good may be one of the greatest forms of avodas Hashem. It allows us to appreciate Hashem’s blessings and face life’s challenges with confidence and serenity.

We do not merely live according to the world we see. To a large extent, we live according to the way we choose to see it. May we merit to view the world with the eyes of Yehoshua and Koleiv—eyes of faith, gratitude, optimism, and trust in Hashem.

Most of us are not going to be sent to scout a land before conquering it. But every day, we “spy out” the circumstances of our own lives. We look at our families, our communities, our finances, our health, our challenges, and our future. Then we decide what those facts mean.

The meraglim looked at facts and concluded, “We cannot do it.”

Yehoshua and Koleiv looked at the same facts and concluded, “With Hashem’s help, we can.”

That distinction exists in every generation.

The meraglim were not punished for seeing giants. There really were giants. They were punished for allowing the giants to become the whole story. They were punished for seeing themselves and their abilities as grasshoppers, “k’chagovim hoyinu b’eineihem.” They saw the obstacles and lost sight of Hashem. Yehoshua and Koleiv also saw the obstacles, but they saw them in the context of the larger reality of Hashem’s promise, Hashem’s protection, and Hashem’s plan.

Negativity often works the same way. It takes a difficulty and turns it into the entire picture. Positivity does not ignore the difficulty. It places it in its proper perspective.

Another angle is that negativity tends to be self-fulfilling. The generation that said, “We cannot enter the land,” ultimately did not enter the land. Yehoshua and Koleiv, who believed they could, did.

A person who constantly says, “I can’t,” “It won’t work,” or, “Nothing ever changes,” often stops trying. A person who says, “This is difficult, but with siyata diShmaya it can be done,” will persevere until he succeeds.

Positive people often feel better, accomplish more, build stronger relationships, inspire others, and navigate hardships more effectively because they are not paralyzed by pessimism. For someone who knows that Hashem runs the world, that He loves His children, and that everything He does has purpose, optimism is not wishful thinking. It is a natural consequence of faith.

The meraglim looked at Eretz Yisroel and asked, “How can we possibly succeed?”

Yehoshua and Koleiv looked at Eretz Yisroel and asked, “If Hashem wants us there, how can we not succeed?”

Those two questions continue to shape the way people approach life today.

The situation in Eretz Yisroel is not simple. There are many problems, both internal and external. The Torah community is being targeted as never before and finds itself in a matzav nora, a terribly serious situation.

Gedolei Yisroel traveled from there this week to inspire and appeal to us to join them in their battle for Torah, to believe, to contribute, and to have the positivity and fortitude of faith, of emunah and bitachon, to do what we can to overcome the darkness of golus, and know that if we withstand the nisayon, we will merit the geulah sheleimah bekarov.